I have only ever been a sister to my sister.
But here I am. Uncharted territory.
Brothers were a world I never knew I longed for, until I saw my boys together as brothers.
There’s a closeness. An understanding. A balance in the universe when they are side by side. Moving separately within the same circle, together without having to use words. What the biggest does, the littlest is the shadow trailing behind. And sometimes they proceed in reverse.
Their love for one another is magnetic. The kind of love that travels oceans until it rests easy in the shade and embrace of the other. The kind of love that lives beyond a lifetime, and into the next.
When they are apart, there is a sadness. The wish to be together again. The axis has tilted too far and the universe feels uncertain. We miss our brother. There are tears and loud words to stop and return for the littlest. The concern that he will be missed too much. It’s all I can do to take his hand until we are all snuggled up together once more.
This young relationship is an education of the world. A slow steady education in the laws of relationships and humanity. An education in sympathy and empathy. Of unconditional love and loyalty. All the many things I dreamed of teaching my children as they grew, long before I ever knew them, were the memories of dreams. And here they are, with guidance, but nonetheless teaching each other the ways of love, the importance of laughter, and the need for gentleness.
As they grow, I know life will not always be this simple. Their relationship will grow, their patience may thin, their planets rotating at different speeds may become visible to the human eye, incrementally increasing the distance between the other. But then again, maybe they won’t. Maybe this is how they will be. Perhaps not always literally close to one another, but figuratively, yes. I need to imagine this will be our forever story. Brothers lost in the love of the other. forever.
This world of boys, sandwiched within the world of brothers, is exactly the place I am meant to be.
The mother of brothers.